¶ Wardrobe for a snow day

We woke up to a couple of inches of new snow and the schools enacted a two-hour-delay day. The kids were hoping for another cancellation, but they didn’t get their wish and now they’re off learning how to behave in a government institution.

Today I’m dressed for success. When I want to get things done, I do not sit around in my pajamas all day. This is what I’m wearing today.

  1. Corduroy pants
  2. Green checked shirt1
  3. A Campbell argyle wool necktie2
  4. A vibrant red wool cardigan3
  5. A wide-wale brown corduroy sport coat. It’s made by Orvis and has leather patches on the elbows4
  6. Argyle socks that technically don’t match anything except they’ve got red diamonds that kind of match my sweater. That’s being generous, though.
  7. Tasseled Sperry loafers5

Yes, I look like I should be fifty years older than I am. Somehow, though, I am both more comfortable (presuming the weather is cold enough) and highly productive like this. I get more done. Maybe it’s the pockets, or perhaps it’s that the necktie constricts blood flow and helps me avoid distraction. Maybe it’s because I watched too much Masterpiece Theater when I was younger and have the impression that intelligent men wear neckties and cardigans and tasseled loafers: that would make me kinda pathetic. I never claimed that my wardrobe was based on any kind of logic.

I’m sure people think I’m weird. I don’t mind so much, but I sometimes get a little annoyed by it. It’s socially OK to have a pointy beard or long hair or piercings or tattoos, but try wearing a red cardigan sweater and people will chuckle.

When I wear a bow tie, people make comments. Waitstaff in restaurants always say something. I don’t think people are ever afraid that I’ll respond with anger or violence. Maybe I should get a violent sweater, maybe that would shut them up.

Honestly, I don’t care if they laugh. I’m comfortable wearing the clothes that once belonged to my grandfather, some of which are slightly too large for me. I’m comfortable being the only guy in the English department who wears honest-to-goodness leather patches on his elbows (I own at least four garments with leather patches on the elbows, and at least one more that’s got holes in the elbows that I am trying to convince Kate to patch with leather): it looks good and it’s functional. So what if I fulfill a stereotype?

This wasn’t intended to become a rant; I just thought my wardrobe was worth mentioning: I like how I look today.

——

1 This one has my monogram on the left cuff. I love the shirt and get compliments every time I wear it, but the collar is actually a half-inch too small. Too bad it looks so good with a tie or else I’d just never button the top button and not worry about it. Alas, sometimes discomfort is the price we pay for fashion.

2 I know it’s Campbell because there’s a label on the back that says “Campbell Argyle.” It’s one I inherited from my grandfather.

3 Also inherited from my grandfather. You can’t wear a bright red cardigan very often, so I need to meet my garment quota for this on in December. It’s comfy but without a doubt seasonal.

4 Yes, I know I’m wearing corduroy pants and a corduroy jacket. It doesn’t look bad because the pants are a fine-wale, but I was nervous about it, too. The jacket is another inheritance from my grandfather.

5 Inherited from my grandfather. Kate doesn’t like these shoes, but they’re comfortable for around the house — so long as I don’t have to stand up for long.

7 December 2007

Comment

  1. # Comment by Thom on Dec 7, 10:01 PM:

    Sounds excellent, if a bit mismatched. I actually caught myself, the other day, putting on a corduroy shirt with my corduroy pants. As a soon-to-be-newly-minted CTO, I think I shall have to buy a bow tie, and sports coats with leather patches on the elbows.

  2. # Comment by Markle on Dec 11, 12:31 PM:

    Pair that cardigan with a well-worn t-shirt and your wife’s jeans and you’ll be the most scene scenester around. Cardigans are huge this year.

    The rest of the outfit sounds… umm… slightly less scene.

  3. # Comment by Markle on Dec 11, 12:33 PM:

    Also: grow a moustache, drop to 20lbs below a healthy weight, take up smoking, buy a fixed gear bike and pull the whole thing together with a white belt.

  4. # Comment by jeff on Dec 11, 12:45 PM:

    All great suggestions, but I’ll have to pass on the mustache. Kate has forbidden it. Plus, I once participated in a mustache-growing contest and won an award, “Most likely to invade Poland.”

    Yeah, not such a good ‘stache.

    Also, if I start riding a fixie, that means I can’t drive around in my SUV hoping to see them nervously unable to stop at intersections…

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